Britney, Why Haven't U Called?

Dearest Britney,

I write to you today to express my shock and disappointment. It has been almost two months since I first told you publicly on my blog that I am available as your back-up dancer. I sent my resume to you, I became a member of your Official Fan Club, I even added myself as your friend on Facebook, and you know how I feel about The Book. It is with a heavy heart that I must face the reality that my efforts may be going unnoticed.

In an attempt to reaffirm my commitment, I thought I would give my cause one last try. I put together a list of reasons that should compel you to have me by your side during your Circus Tour.

1) I supported and believed in you when NO ONE else did
My husband, my family, and my friends all tried to convince me to turn away from you. While they spoke ill of your Vegas wedding at the Little White Wedding Chapel, I just chuckled and said, “That Britney. She may have been as high as a kite, but she sure can sing!”


2) We had our first babies at the same time























Our bond was first forged out of the truest love...motherhood. Although we did have different taste in maternity clothes, nothing brightened my pregnant days more than buying U.S. Weekly and reading all about your pregnancy progress.

3) We both believe in bringing our kids to work as much as possible

I always have my kids by my side when blogging and you, well, you are paying Kevin Federline an extra $5,000 a week to watch your kids and giving him a free rental house wherever you've set up home base while on tour. And although Not-Really-Father-Of-The-Year-Kevin is spending his days gambling at Harrah's, I know we both have our kids' best interest at heart.


4) We have both suffered for our bad hair decisions



















Helmut hair, perms, red, black, pink, everything except platinum blonde and completely shaved. If there has been a bad hairstyle on this planet, you can bet your botton dollar that I have sported it with pride at one time or another.

Don't worry though, Britney. There is no way I would bring my unfashionable mop on tour with us. I've updated my look, just for you. As testament to my commitment, I've even included my before and after shots....

{An updated photo, post-salon appointment!}

Call me Britney. I foresee great things for the two of us in the future.

xoxo

Your Number One Fan,
Fran