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Monday, February 16, 2009

A Public Service Announcement

I come to you today, our dear, dear readers, with a public service announcement. A great distress has been weighing heavily on my mind for some time now. As you all know, I am a loyal fan of the blog world and heartily support anyone in their quest to become a more perfect “clicker.” However, I, along with Pope Benedict XVI, am concerned over the lack of faithfulness that may be occurring in blogdom. Kacey’s recent Facebook tag made me painfully aware of how many of you are cheating on Blogger, WordPress, and Xanga. I won’t go as far as to name names, but you know who are...clickers dishonoring their commitment to the blogosphere and spending endless amounts of time in Facebook “networking.”

And so, in my commitment to uphold the greater good and ensure that we keep our blogging craft pure and unadulterated, I have composed a list of reasons why you should feel compelled to blog and avoid the book entirely.

1. Friends are not requested nor suggested
Let's face it, friends are a pretty straightforward concept in blogdom. They are followers or commenters; those that de-lurk to show to you some love. In Facebook, who are these people that refer to themselves as friends?

Take me, for example. As testament to my dedication to this post, I sent everyone in Facebook with essentially the same name as me a request to be my friend. Although the spelling of our last name differs only by one letter, we share no connection.

All nine "Francesca's" confirmed me as a friend within just a few hours. Wow! What if I were some crazy cyber-stalker simply distinguising my true identity?


2. Who Really Understands How to Use Facebook?
Within the Facebook realm, there are simply too many different ways to communicate. Take the "poke," for example. What is it? I have tried to poke people and have been poked, but I still do not quite get it.

Maybe a visual would help.

From what I gather, a poke can be anything from "hey, how are you doing?" to "why haven't you answered my e-mail that I sent you five minutes ago?" Do we really need more forms of communication that no one understands?

3. Status Updates
One word: Ugh. If you are going to give me an update on what you are doing, please try to at least be somewhat creative. Rest assured that somewhere, someone is: tired, hungry, bummed to be at work, looking forward to the weekend, or recovering from a hangover.

Instead, think outside of the box. Why not spam everyone you know with one of the following:

  • Fred feels ashamed of his smoking, but it's better that he smoke and help the dreams of the cigarette workers come true, than be selfish and worry about his lungs.
  • Bill is at number 2 with nature.
  • David is boxing in the Smart Car parked in his spot. Not so smart now are you, Mr. Smarty Smart Car?!?
  • Angie is eating her weight in Valentine's Day chocolate.

Also, haven't you people heard of Twitter?

4. It Really Is Just Voyeurism

Honestly, let's just call Facebook what it really is: voyeurism at its finest. Are you truly interested in "reconnecting" with your highschool classmates? Or is the truth that you just want to check out their photos and confirm that you are in fact better looking, more financially well off, and have cuter kids than they do?

I think we all know what the answer to that question is.

My argument is compelling. Fellow bloggers, I urge you to stay true to our craft. Blog, don't look at the book.

-Francesca

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71 comments:

Stesha said...

Am the last person on earth who hasn't joined Facebook? This could be a sign. I could be the next Will Smith or in my case Willow Smith, sent to save the world from Facebook.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Jill (Sneaky Momma) said...

Your posts always crack me up, Francesca!
I agree that blogging is soooooo much better than Facebook. The other day I spent a good chunk of time looking for my notes section. I do enjoy getting to keep up with former campers from my days as a camp counselor. That's kind of cool! :)

tiburon said...

I am on the book - and I concur. I am sooooo sick of the application requests though.

I ignore ALL of them. They make my butt itch.

We should be FB friends though ;)

Lara said...

I hate poking. Even worse is super poking. I finally just set it not to email me whenever someone throws a turkey at me or hugs me or takes a walk in the rain with me. Because I don't want to know about it. I prefer to remain in my turkey/heart/shamrock/miseltoe-less ignorance.

I like status updates, if people are clever about it. And I definitely am. But I just roll my eyes at all my friends who are always "working" or "tired" or "happy."

And did you know you can somehow connect your Twitter account to your status update, so whatever shows up on Twitter updates on Facebook automatically. yeah. Well, I don't have Twitter, so I haven't ever actually tried.

Erin said...

Ha! I love it! I have almost 200 friends on facebook, and I still don't get it. And I don't have time to instant message, so I don't even get on when someone who may message me is on. It's so silly!

You're right - blogging is the best.

Mrs Parks said...

Oh Lord, I feel called out.
I, Mrs Parks, am only on Facebook for the photos.
I don't poke.
I rarely update my status and I hate to meme.

If you want to be friends, you can find me under Marilyn Parks, I will reply instantly.

forever folding laundry said...

I find this to be such an interesting post...coming from someone with, like, 50 bazillion friends on FB!! ;)

I was SO tired of getting status updates about one particular person from high school. I swear, it was like "Joe Blow is running 25 miles on his lunch break today"..."Joe Blow was voted most handsome by himself"..."Joe Blow became a fan of Joe Blow". Then I discovered a way on FB to control the amt. of "news feed" that comes through about Joe Blow. I now never have to hear about the degree of his awesomeness ever again.

OK, sorry. Way too wordy. (I'll call you today BTW!)

~Keri

from the desk of ....me said...

your post is so true. i must admit that i really don't understand the whole concept but i love it for all the WRONG reasons. i am no doubt comparing my lot in life to my "friends" and happy to say that i'm doing okay for myself.

Ronnie said...

Man, this was one comprehensive piece of work. I congratulate you.
I too am a Facebook denier. My children rooked me into an account saying I couldn't see their photos without one and asking permission to be their friend. WTH!
Long live bloggers!

queenbee4 said...

I agree... I'm on facebook, but
I SWEAR if I get one more "lil' plant" I'm gonna scream.
I ignore all requests.

Amy said...

What a great post. I have resisted the whole Facebook thing. Thanks for the laugh this morning!

TrueLoveIsaMama said...

Wow I loved the list! Kacey is my kind of girl! Especially on the no sand on the toes. I was laughing out loud on the McD's sundays while prego too!
I also found the Facebook entry very funny, I have tried to be creative and make people laugh with status line updates, but have found that many people are without a sense of humor, and think I am being serious! I have not given up though, I am going to forge on with sarcastic status line updates!

seriously? said...

Just when I thought we could meet for a play date, you have to go and RIP up on facebook? Now, I suggest you spend some time with facebook...a date per say, so that you can fully understand and enjoy the experience. I believe I am equally obsessed and in love with my blog as I am with facebook. Proof that you can love two things at once. :)

Kristina P. said...

I totally agree! Although, I have found a few old friends on Facebook. Why aren't WE friends on there, Francesca?

Kacey R. said...

This is HILARIOUS! And oh.so.true!I popped over from A Thorn Among Roses. I JUST set up a FaceBook account under extreme distress - otherwise known as all friends & hubs making me feel wierd with not having one. I'm not sure if I am digging it. I feel WAY more comfy in my little blog corner.

And on another note - I just ordered some LoveyDovey clips the other day for Cora's playground - I can't wait to get them. They are PRECIOUS!

{Katie Lane} said...

This is great! I don't get Facebook either. Way to stand.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

That was so awesome. My husband calls Facebook, "the trailer park of the internet." I do catch him peeking over my shoulder at times, interested in hearing what others are up to.
My beef?
when people use it as a political forum, as if 1 sentence is a great way to show how in- the- know you are. That, and those who are using it to show how cool they are, "I totally hung out with my best friend today, we are so cool."
off to see my tag....
Have an awesome week.. new friends at the park maybe???

Jo said...

You are funny, as usual. And you are right, but I still love Facebook. Friend me!!! Jo in Utah!

Lady of Perpetual Chaos said...

Facebook is just exhausting...poked, tagged, mentioned...whatever. It can be amusing but...again, whatever.

Counselormama said...

Once I have caught up on reading blogs I go straight to FB! I am too long gone, it is an obsession of mine. But, I do like that I am now in contact with various family members who I normally would only be in touch with at a wedding or funeral. I can't stop myself!

Kathy said...

I'm in (or out) on the Facebook thing. I just don't get it.

Okay, let's be real. I'm REALLY just afraid I would not find any friends, and I'm simply too prideful for that kind of public shame.

Nadine said...

Hahahaha! GREAT post! I never got Facebook.

wenbren explains it all said...

I love FB! I sent everyone a big bear hug and a free gift but no one said anything except my friend from Florida. Was that tacky?A Do or Don't? Maybe A don't on FB, anyways today I will post something that will make everyone gasp!!

Grand Pooba said...

If facebook goes, than private blogs go too!

I only wish my first name was Francesca, then we'd be facebook friends.

btw how do you pronounce your name?

Fransesca or
Franchesca

?

Oh and what is this thing with getting virtually drunk on face book? And all those other applications where people send you silly things like smiley faces and plants or other psycho things? I don't quite get it.

rachel said...

I also have not joined Facebook. I am bloggy loyal :)

Debbie said...

I support you completely in this campaign. I will even go so far as to throw the twitter in there too.

Bek said...

Fran - Cute post. I understand your delima, but you have to love the irony of this then... I only found your BLOG because you posted it on FACEBOOK. :)

Rebekah

Helene said...

I enjoy blogging so much more than Facebook. I don't usually respond to the pokes and stuff like that. I mainly use it to keep in touch with friends b/c let's face it, none of us really have time to call each other on a weekly basis to say "hey, what's up". So I find it's an easier way to keep up with others. But blogging, somehow feels more personal.

Barbaloot said...

I'm SO with you on the friend suggestions. They tick me off---I can pick my own friends thanksverymuch.

Stesha said...

Wow! Stesha was the very first commenter today. Loud and proud. You go!

I can only dream of such greatness.

-Francesca

One day you will get your chance!

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Sure she will and then she's going to mess it up!

Whatever,
Stesha Fierce

Sorry Francesca, Stesha Fierce can't be stopped.

Hugs and Mocha,
Stesha

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hah, this is funny! I never loved FB and I can do without people sending me martinis (unless they are real and from the other end of the bar) and flowers but I am recently glad I am on there because if not for FB I wouldn't know about a 20 yr high school reunion which I will be going to.

B said...

Francesca, I think you figured out the entire population of facebook. They are spies, each and every one of them.

I didn't look at the book even before I started blogging. But I can't agree more that it's through blogging that you feel the lovin, not poking.

Kirsty said...

LOL!!! Can I blog AND Facebook????
I like to let all my requests gather dust in my inbox until I have several hundred, then just ignore them all;)

Joy said...

I love your Facebook rant. I'm not on Facebook or any other site other than Blogger. There's just no need for that in my case.

peewee said...

The updates are what get me. One guy on mine puts up "thought provoking" quotes as his update about 5 times a day. I can't even de-friend him b/c he's a yoga student. And then it cracks me up when people are like "kristin just got back from running a triathalon and giving birth to twins! phew!" I still love it tho. like apple. I think this is the end of the world as we know it. oh well, better go update my status!

He And Me + 3 said...

Cracking up, because I really don't get the whole Facebook thing. I have an account, but don't use it. I don't care to see that so and so is just leaving for the gym for a workout. So what. I will stick to blogging too.
Great post!
I haven't twittered either. Strictly blogging for this girl.

stephanie (bad mom) said...

Full disclosure: I am a recent devotee to Facebook.

However, I completely agree with #4 (though am feeling okay with it); I try very hard to be clever with status updates (and Twitter seems more texty than I enjoy); and I am quite discriminating with my friend acceptance. Plus I don't know what to do with the poking either (and will not learn) and often ignore most application requests.

None of this makes me better than anyone else of course, but I feel slightly less dirty about the whole thing...

Shupe said...

well, let Stesha Know that I REFUSE to join Facebook. Mainly well, cause my entire loony family is on there - and they don't need to know what I'm up to, as well as classmates from the past- I chose to blog- therefore I am a blogspot type of gal.
Screw networking for the amount of "friends" you have. I enjoy my small number on here- and have become close with them.
I like knowing my peeps- and I like doing my thang!
Cheers to boycotting Facebook
Well, at least I have!
great blog too btw!
hugs from the state of chaos!
Angie

Angela said...

Now I know I posted a favorable review today on Facebook, but until then it was jut as you said. Yes, most of my people before family are high school classmates, but now the novelty has worn down until last week.

Janna Bee said...

It could be worse. It could be MySpace! I wrote a post about my dislike of facebook too!

Vodka Mom said...

I am WITH YOU. I have facebook, but rarely, rarely look at it!! I feel like I am cheating on my blog.

Yaya said...

You are too funny.


'cheaters'...lol!

Megryansmom said...

Awww come on Francesca! I think you're being a little hard on Facebookers. I personally don't care if my former classmates are better off than I am, and lord knows I am still way better looking than they are and no one, no one has a cuter grandson then moi! Besides, I think only 3 people from my graduating class are computer literate.

Kendra ;) said...

You kill me! I agree, but why am I addicted! I am a sucker! :)

Me said...

Amen! I totally agree! My sentiments exactly..and many of the reasons I deactivated my account within hours of creating!

Cheryl said...

I will never poke anyone ever again.

Kailey said...

I'll admit...I'm doing both (that doesn't sound very good does it?). But I was actually on facebook first, and I really HAVE connected with a lot of old high school friends.

I love your creative updated though. I definitely need to think more like that1

Carin said...

:)

Once a week I decide I am not going to visit Facebook again...and then it sucks me in! Blogs over facebook- handsdown!

So said...

I must admit that I have been sucked into the world of facebook. *hanging head in shame* I don't get most of the applications but I do love me some flair.

Lana said...

You're hilarious!
And I ♥ Facebook!!

Mainly a midwife said...

I have to admit that I am on FB and I do enjoy reading status updates (especially the clever ones). But I say no to every application that comes down the pike. I don't really know what flair is but I'm sure I don't need any.

Heidi Ashworth said...

"Eating her weight in Valentines candy" That one hit close to home so therefore was particularly hysterical.

Noah's Mommy said...

Thanks so much for the linky love....and I'm such a newbie at Facebook...I really only get on like once a week....not sure why I haven't caught the bug....

Heather of the EO said...

I love you.

Tiaras and Tantrums said...

I agree: It Really Is Just Voyeurism

Julie said...

LOL! Great post! I still don't know how to poke someone. I just don't get it.

Blog lovers unite!!

wonder woman said...

I was on FB before I started blogging, and now I am TOTALLY converted to blogging. I check my facebook stuff every other day, but just to see new pics and if anyone has friend requested me.

I LOVE the voyeuristic quality. In fact, I wish I could be friends with people without them knowing. I'm DYING to see what an ex-boyfriend's life is like, but could never FR him.

If only people didn't value their privacy. ;)

Deb said...

Now I feel bad, I just joined Facebook. However, if it makes you feel better, I have very few friends, far less than anyone else I know. Like my low blog comment count, I think of it as exclusivity...

dede said...

love this post - FB is a great place to be friends with all of your ex-boyfriends (and yes my kids are cuter than theirs!!) - but, the blogging world wins, hands down!!!

Vanessa said...

Can we do both?? I like both...so just add me :)

Sharon said...

Ha! You crack me up.
My husband says that he only has an account because someone created it for him, but he occasionally asks me about getting one. I tell him "I don't need the internets to know that I don't have friends." The real truth is I don't get it! I usually think I'm the only one.

joanofalltrades said...

Anti-facebookers unite! I am not on facebook and will not get on it because I do not see the point. Everyone gets so excited about running into people from high school on facebook. I'm like.....I talk to the 4 or 5 people from high school who I've cared to keep in contact with. Why am I now gonna get excited about someone who I really didn't talk to then? I just don't get facebook. I've got people requesting me as friends via email and I'm not even on it. It's insane. Your post is absolutely hilarious. I'm with you chick. I'm staying true to the blogosphere.

tara @ kidz said...

Girl, how do you do it? Be so funny and so fabulous at the same time!?!?

I definitely prefer blogging over the book. But I do dabble on occassion, just so I can gawk at old friends who don't have blogs.

If it means that much to you, though, I'll give it up! I need my Fran girl to be happy!

The High Family said...

I have yet to sign up for Facebook!

Shocking...huh?

I love your posts!

Jennifer said...

Why are you calling me out? LOL!

LisAway said...

I feel the very same way. BLOG people!! Seriously.

Monica said...

This post made me realize that I might have a problem. Thank you, Francesca, thank you from the bottom of my facebo....err heart.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Um, impossible. Well I have been on Facebook for years -years! My first friend was an old buddy from South Africa, now living in London. It was great, great! Hearing from him after many, many years was a surprise, seeing how big is son is, virtually meeting his new beau. Wonderful. Now? I have "friends" from my hometown that I know are just being nosey. But that is okay. I blog - more potential readers for me. And btw, FB went back to the original TOS! Great mobilization social media folks!

Danita said...

AMEN sista!

♫ Spasm ♫ said...

this is CRACKING me up!!!!

Cindy (and Brian) said...

This one hits home! I am a blog LOOOOOOOOSER b/c I have become addicted to 'the book" and am totally cheating on my blog. LAME!!! I feel so crappy about it but STILL...I can't get away. I need a facebook detox. :)