I come to you today, our dear, dear readers, with a public service announcement. A great distress has been weighing heavily on my mind for some time now. As you all know, I am a loyal fan of the blog world and heartily support anyone in their quest to become a more perfect “clicker.” However, I, along with Pope Benedict XVI, am concerned over the lack of faithfulness that may be occurring in blogdom. Kacey’s recent Facebook tag made me painfully aware of how many of you are cheating on Blogger, WordPress, and Xanga. I won’t go as far as to name names, but you know who are...clickers dishonoring their commitment to the blogosphere and spending endless amounts of time in Facebook “networking.”
And so, in my commitment to uphold the greater good and ensure that we keep our blogging craft pure and unadulterated, I have composed a list of reasons why you should feel compelled to blog and avoid the book entirely.
1. Friends are not requested nor suggested
Let's face it, friends are a pretty straightforward concept in blogdom. They are followers or commenters; those that de-lurk to show to you some love. In Facebook, who are these people that refer to themselves as friends?
Take me, for example. As testament to my dedication to this post, I sent everyone in Facebook with essentially the same name as me a request to be my friend. Although the spelling of our last name differs only by one letter, we share no connection.
All nine "Francesca's" confirmed me as a friend within just a few hours. Wow! What if I were some crazy cyber-stalker simply distinguising my true identity?
2. Who Really Understands How to Use Facebook?
Within the Facebook realm, there are simply too many different ways to communicate. Take the "poke," for example. What is it? I have tried to poke people and have been poked, but I still do not quite get it.
Maybe a visual would help.
From what I gather, a poke can be anything from "hey, how are you doing?" to "why haven't you answered my e-mail that I sent you five minutes ago?" Do we really need more forms of communication that no one understands?
3. Status Updates
One word: Ugh. If you are going to give me an update on what you are doing, please try to at least be somewhat creative. Rest assured that somewhere, someone is: tired, hungry, bummed to be at work, looking forward to the weekend, or recovering from a hangover.
Instead, think outside of the box. Why not spam everyone you know with one of the following:
- Fred feels ashamed of his smoking, but it's better that he smoke and help the dreams of the cigarette workers come true, than be selfish and worry about his lungs.
- Bill is at number 2 with nature.
- David is boxing in the Smart Car parked in his spot. Not so smart now are you, Mr. Smarty Smart Car?!?
- Angie is eating her weight in Valentine's Day chocolate.
Also, haven't you people heard of Twitter?
4. It Really Is Just Voyeurism
Honestly, let's just call Facebook what it really is: voyeurism at its finest. Are you truly interested in "reconnecting" with your highschool classmates? Or is the truth that you just want to check out their photos and confirm that you are in fact better looking, more financially well off, and have cuter kids than they do?
I think we all know what the answer to that question is.
My argument is compelling. Fellow bloggers, I urge you to stay true to our craft. Blog, don't look at the book.