I haven’t been completely honest. When I wrote that I didn’t participate in the last Chick Chat vlog because I had nothing to confess, it wasn’t completely true. I do have one rather large secret that I am quite proud of: I am a weight loss genius. Actually, I should give credit where it is due and say my kids are weight loss miracles.
Everyone faces their own weight loss challenges. I am no different. My quest to be slim and trim is complicated a bit by the fact that I loathe exercise and excel at procrastinating. However, even as toddlers, my kids have managed to help me lose weight without ever having to even raise my heartbeat or break a sweat.
If my kids had the ability to create their own dining experience at every meal, then my weight loss plan might be a complete failure. For example, I suspect that their day would look something like this:
Breakfast: A cupful of whipped cream with about an inch or two of hot chocolate, an Egg-O soaked in maple syrup, and copious amounts of bacon.
Lunch: Macaroni and cheese, accompanied by about a quart of Kool-Aid.
You might notice that any trace of fruits, vegetables, or food without salt or sugar would be missing.
Sadly, this is not their reality. As tyrannical parents, Geoff and I monitor what our kids eat and regularly say no to dessert if Giancarlo chooses to sit at the dinner table, but to pass on eating.
Similarly, my children return the favor to me and monitor what I eat. In their case, though, they have brilliantly altered their approach in order to keep me on my toes and help me to prevail in my battle against the bulge. My typical day looks something like this:
Breakfast: Nothing. No time to eat. Must blog before children get up and require attention.
Lunch: Make lunch for Giancarlo and Lucia. Once they are happily munching on sandwiches, make something for myself. Mentally applaud my efforts to put together a salad or some type of wholesome wrap. Sit down to eat and have my kids immediately proclaim that they are done. Look lustfully at lunch, but turn away from it to wash sticky faces and hands. Get kids settled in a new activity. Finally return to wilted salad or soggy wrap, which no longer looks or tastes good. Skip lunch entirely.
Dinner: Repeat above pattern. However, out of sheer desperation, eat the scraps from my kid’s plates as I clean up dinner.
9:00 pm: Recover from the day’s events with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice-cream. Fall asleep on the couch.
You see? My kids are givers. They know that it is much more important to look your best than to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Everything they do is out of love…right?