He Said/She Said

Tyler and I just celebrated our third anniversary and, while I can say it's been lovely, we've definitely had our share of "discussions." These discussions coincidentally became more amplified after the arrival of our daughter, Emi. Some people describe us both as being passive-aggressive or sarcastic. We prefer to call it razor sharp wit. After work, once our nightly ritual (feeding, bathing, reading and tucking Emi in) is completed, our discussions usually go something like this:

Kacey:
I just want to begin by saying how much I appreciate our open brand of communication. There are many things you do that I value - some much more than others. One of the things I value less is the remarkable art you produce every night after I’ve cooked dinner, where you leave the dirty dishes out in a unique abstract formation. I don’t know what I find more intoxicating, your daily artistry or the aroma of decomposing food.

Tyler:
Thank you so much for your refreshing honesty. It buoys me up and gives me strength. I too value everything I like about you. One thing I find adorable is your irreplaceable ability to misconstrue having food delivered to our doorstep with actually preparing a meal. I think it’s cute the way you equate the two, somehow conjuring up the belief that dumping food from a box onto a plate relieves you from dish duty. That’s like saying because I put rubbish into a receptacle I’m absolved from having to take out the trash. I fall more and more in love with your quirky logic every day.

Kacey:
I’m delighted you thought to bring up the subject of garbage because I think it’s endearing how whenever you eat something contained in a plastic wrapper, you forget to place the wrapper into the receptacle just a few feet away. I consider each wrapper a memento of your leisured persona.

Tyler:
I do it all for you, kiddo.

Kacey:
Don’t I know it.

After this, Tyler does the dishes and then rubs my feet. VICTORY!! Life is good.

-Kacey (& Tyler)