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Monday, November 10, 2008

The Things I Say

For a few months now, I have been recording the funny and not-so-ordinary comments that G makes using Twitter. I have accepted that this is the closest I am going to get to updating his baby book for the time being.

Focusing my attention more closely on what G says has also made me painfully aware of the things that I say. Over the last week or so, I even went as far as to write down some of the highlights. Since becoming a Mom, the words that come flying out of my mouth sometimes downright amaze me. Is this who I have become? The answer: Most definitely.

While there were many "I love you's", "Let's play", and "Do you need a little love?" statements last week, there were also many "What the f*&$@?" moments. In the spirit of Not-Me Monday, here are the best of the things I did not say last week. I’ll let you decide whether these declarations were directed at my kids or my husband…

1. We do not eat the play dough.
2. You may have something other than _____ (insert any dessert you can think of here, including, cupcakes, a treat, candy, and pie) for breakfast.
3. Do not beat your sister with Heffy.*
4. Just because she accidentally pokes you in the eye, does not mean that you can do it back to her.
5. Do not stick your hand in your poo.
6. If you were too sick to get out of bed this morning and help with the kids, then maybe you should be resting, rather than cleaning the garage.
7. It is not OK to put sand in the DVD player.
8. Do not use the _____ (insert any number of household items here, including, but not limited to, DVDs, pumpkins, and shoes) to play ball.
9. Because of daylight savings time, it is only 5:02. Are you sure you can't go back to sleep?
10. And, finally, my husband's favorite: It is OK to sit on the toilet. It is not OK to put your face in it.

Check out MckMama's blog at My Charming Kids to see what others are not confessing to this week.


* Note to reader: Heffy is my son’s favorite stuffed animal. The name is short for “Heffalump” and refers to the fictional, elephant character mentioned in the Winnie the Pooh stories. (I added a visual for your viewing pleasure.) I might write about Heffy sometime. He is the blessedly silent fifth member of our family.
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Sarah VM said...

I am with you on those things!

Debbie said...

Oh so funny. I wish I had been blogging when my kids were small (or even that Al had invented the Internet way back then) so I would have all those wonderful mommy moments preserved.

Kameron said...

It is amazing what you say that you never imagined should be a real sentence! I especially like the comment to your hubby! ;o)

*MARY* said...

My kids are definitely NOT eating a bag of doritos for breakfast this morning because I'm too busy blogging.

Suzanne said...

I absolutely could not tell which comments were to your husband! Thanks for the laughs, glad I found you!

Texasholly said...

So funny. Love it. I think it is a situation where great minds think alike! I will add this link to my list when that post materializes.

Danyele Easterhaus said...

so you know, we do not eat fuzz or our hair...and we do not poop on our toys when we get mad either. yes...it's so NOT true.

The Bagley Bunch said...

Hahaha--what is it with kids sticking their hands in poo??! Haha, once my daughter "painted" her walls with it---wasn't THAT fun to clean up! Baby wipes didn't seem to do the trick ;), but they do just about work on anything :).
Thanks for the comment on our blog :). Yep, Bubba is our term of endearment we chose for him--he loves it :). Blessings on you and yours! Love the title of your blog!!!

wendy said...

love this list.
too funny!