Ask a Dad

Tyler H is a guest blogger and father to Emi. The Three Bay B Chicks have asked him to shed light on a Dad’s point of view under the stern supervision of his loving wife, Kacey. If you have a question for Ask A Dad, feel free to submit it in the comments section. The Three Bay B Chicks are not responsible for Tyler's "advice."

Birth Order: Does It Really Matter?

Dear Ask A Dad,

Growing up, I was the middle child of three. As much as I hate to say it, I fall into numerous clichés of typical middle child behavior. I'm wondering what your thoughts on birth order are and if you have any ways to prevent this debilitating cycle from repeating in my own household.

Sincerely,
Miserably Middle


Dear Miserably Middle,

There’s nothing you can do to alleviate your situation. Just kidding. But seriously, there’s really not much you can do, that is, if you’re a middle child, because being the middle child is the awesomest according to science. Numerous sibling studies have resulted in unmistakable tendencies stemming from birth order, ranking the middle child as the most likely to rock it and be undervalued. No one wants to feel his or her behavior and intelligence level can be predicted by strangers in lab coats. However, science never lies…unless results are offensive, in which case, science can then be skillfully disregarded in order to validate cherished ideology.

Let’s have a look at the major predictable characteristics of each child in order:

First Born
• Bossy
• Organized
• Neat
• Driven
• Believes must gain and hold superiority over other children
• Know-it-all
• Super jealous of younger sibling’s popularity
• Strives to keep or regain parents' attention through…let’s skip to the middle child stuff.

Middle Child
• Rad
• Agile
• Charming
• Original
• Good at magic
• First-rate peripheral vision
• Most likely to make parents proud
• Delusional
• Neglected
• Needy
• Always has sibling who “thinks” he’s more advanced
• Under appreciated
• Misunderstood

Youngest Child
• Just like the oldest only more annoying
• Has an easy life
• Probably not going to do as well in school. If you do, it’s only because you work twenty times as hard to get barely better grades than the middle child.
• Thunder stealer
• Tattletale
• Copycat
• Whiny

My advice to you is to get over it. Being a middle child is obviously the way to go. If you have three or more children, post these “typical characteristics” up on your fridge and review with your children nightly so that they become “true." Secretly whisper in your middle child’s ear that they are really your favorite.

Take my advice and your middle child will overcome any obstacle in his or her path. And who knows? Maybe their characteristics will even rub off on the other kids. This worked wonders in my family.

Let me know how it goes.

Yours,
Tyler (A Marvelous Middle Child)